deception

Often I am worried about people deceiving me.  The possibility of being deceived can be paralysing in certain situations.  When I find I have been deceived I become angry, or at very least irritated!

 

 

 There so often seems to be a question in the back or my mind: "What does this person really want?"  I am so unsure!  "Why has this person stopped to talk?"



Even with friends, I sometimes wonder:  "Who is this person?  Are they authentic, or is it all for show?"

But the spiritual mentor we are consulting has a different take on deception.  "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."  I can't escape, it seems; am I deceiving myself?

I am cool with the fact that I sometimes do some not-such-good- things.  But sin?  This sounds much worse;  this is more than occasional not-great behaviour; this is bad.  Well, what am I like?  The authentic inner person that is me:  I'm not bad.  I'm probably quite good, on average.  But with no badness?  With no sin?  If I am being honest with myself, if I want to be genuine, if I want the truth?  I've got to admit it: There is badness in here.